oh I don't know, I think you might be over stating it a little.
First off.. I have a crap load of friends who's job is to tweet and facebook and all the rest of it. Isn't this a part of personal branding? To some extent shouldn't this be a part of everyone's skill sets? In that interview with the facebook friend.. I'm sure we'd have a great conversation on that..
How much people care about your struggles and successes I think.. isn't so black and white. For me there is a very personal quality to social media and my social media engagement.. where I care about the people I'm interacting with.. dare I use the word love?
I didn't get a BMW.. but if I did.. I'm sure I'd be posting something about it.. cause I'm sure I'd be excited about it.. and the people who care about me would probably be excited for me.. If it was purely me bragging about the BMW.. that's another story.. but that's sorta my point.. is that I think it all depends.
Also I think people do want some of the personal stuff.. people want real flesh and blood humans.. I mean you can over do it and its about balance.. but I think it's a real mistake to leave all that stuff out.
I know I got a big response when my mom died and I posted stuff about it. A lot of people reached out at that point.. and when I thought I would be the most alone I felt the most connected.. it was beautiful..
To me that's a very key thing.. to me social media is about trying to connect with people on a genuine level.. and.. when we connect with people on a genuine level we have these kinds of conversations.
None of that's to totally disagree with you.. I mean.. well I have a friend who puts out way too much stuff.. He's a part of a graduate program I've been taking a class in.. and we've all said as much and he understands.. but it keeps going.. but still we know where he's coming from so he's not that guy to us.. and I guess our critique of him is to help save him from being "that guy" to others.
And to be someone who things the world revolves around them.. and constantly take a "look at me" sorta attitude.. well.. I think that's maybe what you're really point at? Or people who's approach to these channels is sorta like that.. in the same way that there are some folks whom you would think very well of.. but as soon as they get behind the wheel.. it's Mr Satan time..
I don't know.. hope that adds something to the conversation.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
Matt, this is a very good add on to the conversation. You hit on A LOT of points that everyone should definitely be thinking about. The first is the type of content that you put out there, specifically your status updates and tweets about things that seem to be "useless." There is always a time and a place for this, not everything can be all business all the time, down time is encouraged.
The next point is the feel of a community around your online presence to give you the sense that you're not actually as alone as you think regardless of who is "actually" around you. Everything is based on perception, so nothing is as it appears to be. I'm glad to hear that you found comfort online in your mothers passing and found that people online can be genuinely nice regardless of whether they know you personally.
Lastly though, you touched upon the topic of this article when you described your friend. There is always "that guy" out there, whether publicly or just in your group of friends. Luckily for all of us, you seem to keep him under wraps.
anthonymci
· 3 months ago
I guess the problem with people who 'over-update' is that there is an option on facebook at least to ignore the updates of this person. I know I've done this for a couple of people. So no matter how important or interesting some of their posts may be in the future, I won't see them.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
Over-updating is a really bad habit. People do care about what you're doing but not that you're eating breakfast or that you're going outside. All it takes is a few times to really piss someone off and then you will never hear from them again. You can't please everyone but you can try pretty hard.
Michael Cruse
· 3 months ago
Very good points that I think many people miss. It is a fine line from connected to digital shouting. It seems like more shouting has been going on since Twitter and Facebook than the earlier days of web logs. It is all good, I think, but will take time to reach an equilibrium as social media etiquette starts to take root.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
There is definitely a fine line between shouting and making connections. Facebook and Twitter have there good and bad days, there is just so much going on so it is hard to see through all the clutter. Once social media takes "root" hopefully there will be a nice equilibrium and this won't be of concern.
Tariq West
· 3 months ago
I couldn't agree more - this is a line I'm very weary of as I start to build a brand online. Grace is probably the most important brand attribute in the long term - balancing self-awareness and ambition, attention-getting and humility.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
Good point Tariq, you need to be gracious when interacting with people online as it is a different medium. Not to say that you can't be yourself, just the fact that sometimes online things are taken out of context.
Anne Messenger
· 3 months ago
Love this. Tweeted it and posted to Messenger Associates' FB account. Thanks.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
Glad you enjoyed it so much and for sharing it with all your friends and followers.
Trace Cohen
· 3 months ago
This is a great post because sometimes your online presence can be to overwhelming. You may not realize it but if you posts to much, update to much or are just to assertive with your views that it can hinder people from interacting with you. It can be a big problem.
All Comments
First off.. I have a crap load of friends who's job is to tweet and facebook and all the rest of it. Isn't this a part of personal branding? To some extent shouldn't this be a part of everyone's skill sets? In that interview with the facebook friend.. I'm sure we'd have a great conversation on that..
How much people care about your struggles and successes I think.. isn't so black and white. For me there is a very personal quality to social media and my social media engagement.. where I care about the people I'm interacting with.. dare I use the word love?
I didn't get a BMW.. but if I did.. I'm sure I'd be posting something about it.. cause I'm sure I'd be excited about it.. and the people who care about me would probably be excited for me.. If it was purely me bragging about the BMW.. that's another story.. but that's sorta my point.. is that I think it all depends.
Also I think people do want some of the personal stuff.. people want real flesh and blood humans.. I mean you can over do it and its about balance.. but I think it's a real mistake to leave all that stuff out.
I know I got a big response when my mom died and I posted stuff about it. A lot of people reached out at that point.. and when I thought I would be the most alone I felt the most connected.. it was beautiful..
To me that's a very key thing.. to me social media is about trying to connect with people on a genuine level.. and.. when we connect with people on a genuine level we have these kinds of conversations.
None of that's to totally disagree with you.. I mean.. well I have a friend who puts out way too much stuff.. He's a part of a graduate program I've been taking a class in.. and we've all said as much and he understands.. but it keeps going.. but still we know where he's coming from so he's not that guy to us.. and I guess our critique of him is to help save him from being "that guy" to others.
And to be someone who things the world revolves around them.. and constantly take a "look at me" sorta attitude.. well.. I think that's maybe what you're really point at? Or people who's approach to these channels is sorta like that.. in the same way that there are some folks whom you would think very well of.. but as soon as they get behind the wheel.. it's Mr Satan time..
I don't know.. hope that adds something to the conversation.
The next point is the feel of a community around your online presence to give you the sense that you're not actually as alone as you think regardless of who is "actually" around you. Everything is based on perception, so nothing is as it appears to be. I'm glad to hear that you found comfort online in your mothers passing and found that people online can be genuinely nice regardless of whether they know you personally.
Lastly though, you touched upon the topic of this article when you described your friend. There is always "that guy" out there, whether publicly or just in your group of friends. Luckily for all of us, you seem to keep him under wraps.